A Place to Cherish: The Office

Coming everyday from elementary, we chased each other around the lobby and my friend, always breathing out a loud “time out!”, somehow manages to once again disturbs the lady behind her desk. “Quiet down Andrew. Go play outside or in the musalla,” she’d repeat. Outside the back of the office was where the sun blazed the hottest so it would always come down to residing inside and sitting along the stairs. 

Like the usual we’d camp on top of the stairs. Some days we'd see repeating clients, wearing the same clothes from the day before but whenever someone unfamiliar enters, we’d make up stories and guess what those clients did for a living. “You see that guy wearing the timbs’? Yea, I bet you 100 bucks that he works construction with his son or some’ like that.” It was a weird thing to do. Some could say it was a horrible thing to do, assuming and putting labels on people you’ve only seen and never met. My excuse is that we were young.

When someone thinks about an office, they, in a million years, would never think, “Oh I love going to the office!” Yet, when given the question of where my favorite walks of life take place, I would answer the office. Specifically, the Consulate General of Indonesia. My humble beginnings all reside within this one building. This is where I would meet my future family friends, and where I would soon join a community but all this for another time.

The Consulate General of Indonesia is a beige, H-shaped building, covered with window panels in a traditional office sense, and is surrounded by dull black iron fences with thick palm trees around the perimeter. Within the borders is the front and back. The front is where customers and clients park and enter from and the front doors are where my friend and I would eye from the top of the stairs. The back lies another parking lot, but this side holds both a tennis court and a basketball court. Whenever the sun is down or when it doesn’t feel as torturous, we would head outside and play ball until 5 o’clock, the time for our parents to clock out. Other then that, the back side of the building was a parking lot exclusive for the employees and special guests.

Every Saturday, there’d be Islamic Quran classes taking place in one of the small corners of the first floor. The musalla, was a room where some of the muslim employees would go to pray and it was the same room where parents who have volunteered from different parts of Houston would come to teach students about Islam. Growing up, the three sessions of Quranic classes was not the part of the day I was excited for but was the part after where all of my peers would whip out their nintendos and play Mario Kart DS together. The room was divided by a single set of white curtains, one side for the men, and the other for the women. Once the sessions were done, the women usually left the room, and the entirety of the musalla was left to ourselves. We would open the curtains, lay and roll on the floors, and play a variety of games. Imagine hanging out with some of your closest friends every weekend, doing whatever you want; There was so much positive energy. This corner of the office would be the birthplace of one of the biggest indonesian communities in Houston. But of course with the expansion of the community, the classes were issued to relocate and the office’s musalla was no longer the boy’s hangout. 

If it wasn’t Quranic classes, or an after-school stay, then it would be an Indonesian annual event. There were many festivals that this office would hold. Usually the events would take up the entire parking lots and food vendors along would be set-up under huge tents. Bazaars were intriguing to attend since there were many indonesian foods and clothes to buy. Ever since the classes were to move, the only times my friends and I could get together were the events. We would show up and head straight to the musalla where we would once again talk about what goes on in our lives and reminisce.

With the many years going to the office, I’ve become so comfortable with the atmosphere and at times, I forget that this special place called an office, the Consulate General of Indonesia, is an authorized government building. 

Sometimes, I wish to relive old memories because there’s just so much to cherish in this second home of mines. I’ve learned that not all wishes can be granted.

Self to Text Connection: "Rules of the Game" and The Seemingly Inevitable

From "Rules of The Game": "Aii-ya. So shame be with mother?" She grasped my hand even tighter as she glared at me. I looked down. "It's not that, it's just so obvious. It's just so embarrassing." "Embarrass you be my daughter?" Her voice was cracking with anger. "That's not what I meant... "Why do you have to use me to show off?.." My mother's eyes turned into dangerous black slits. She had no words for me, just sharp silence... I jerked my hand out of my mother's tight grasp and spun around, knocking into an old woman... I ran until it hurt and I realized I had nowhere to go, that I was not running from anything. The alleys contained no escape routes."

In this scene, a young asian girl named Waverly, runs away from his mother, feeling used and frustrated with how the mother acts about Waverly's status of a chess champion. Her mother insists that she has contributed in her success however Waverly doesn't entirely feel the same. This scene displays the breaking point and she realizes that she has no where to run to since she's merely a child. There are many times where my father is in the wrong, I break from him, and then forcibly returning to him since he is older. Since he has authority. Since he is my father. For example, during our personal discussions or 1 on 1's, whenever he was in the wrong, he would diverge from the topic at hand and express how disrespectful I was for talking back or how I should always listen to his advice. However, if a mistake was to be considered and my father does realize his mistake, sometimes, he would disregard the fact that a dispute even occured earlier which frustrates me since I feel like nothing was accomplished or established within our previous exchange. I would get very heated and angry but knowing that my father is my ride to school everyday, or the person that gives me permission to hangout with friends, I put aside my emotions. And like Waverly's mother, my father has conflicting personal values and this foreign perspective, simply because my father was raised differently. LikeWaverly, I am in this dilemma, caused by ignorance and family dynamic, and conflicted due to reasoning of a parent's values. If I manage to fall into this sitatuation, I completely understand and nowadays I just accept it, however there are times where I would feel desperate and it would seem inevitable.

Self to Text Connection: "My First Conk" and Self Standards

From "My First Conk": "This was my first really big step toward self-degradation: when I endured all of that pain, literally burning my flesh to have it look like a white man's hair. I had joined that multitude of Negro men and women in America who are brainwashed into believeing that the black people are "inferior"-and white people "superior"- that they will even violate and mutilate their God-created bodies to try to look "pretty" by white standards."

From The Autobiography of Malcolm X, "My First Conk", Malcolm tells his regretful experience of his first conk and the self-degradation behind it. Malcolm believes black men, conking their hair is shameless as he views it as "black men wanting to be white". I can relate to Malcolm's disgust against self-degradation as a person who is somewhat religious. Some boys at my mosque trashed praying rooms, disrespected house rules, and violated religious laws regularly. Being the ignorant man, I followed their every step and did their every move and soon enough, I'd finally earned their respect. I felt included, special, and happy to be accepted for once. Eventually, we were caught with the actions at hand and recieved talkings from imams, teachers, and parents alike. Looking back at it, all that risk, foolishness, and level of thinking is ridiculous. Although it isn't entirely self-degrading as it was with Malcolm, lowering my self-standards and being someone I am not entirely makes me feel the same as Malcolm. Disgusted and shameful of my own actions.

Self to Text Connection: "Brett, Unbroken" and The Methods of My Mother

From Brett Unbroken: "She read to you every day. She did math problems with you. She paid you and Mark a penny each for every fly you killed. She let you play horseshoes, and didn’t let you see how that terrified her, and everyone else in the vicinity. And she might have softened, might have let you slide when things were toughest, might have given you a break. But she didn’t."

This story, recorded by Steve Friedman, is a telling of Brett Dunlap and life experience after his tragedy of an incident. Brett suffers physical and mental hardships but manages to keep going with the support of close friends and families. Brett's mother plays a huge role in the life of Brett and teaches him to be independent in this tough, loving manner. My mother also wanted me to become independent and was tough on me. She didn't want to always carry me to the top but wanted me to push through whatever problems I was facing and to A: endure it or B: work around it. The first thing she established with me is that I rely on the internet for help. Whether it's what to feed my cat, how to do algebra problems, or how to tie a bowtie, I would learn from the internet. That was leaping step into my development for independence. When she had seen me doing something stupid, a situation where I could possibly hurt myself, she would let it happen, let me fall off the stool, let me touch the iron, let me cut myself. It might sound cruel like she doesn't care, but she takes into account that my problems were solvable under my terms, and that the possibilities of physical pain wasn't as severe, and so she made it sure that I was always able to get back up and learn from my mistakes. 

Self to Text Connection: Brown's TED Talk and My Self Development

Stuart Brown: "So I would encourage you all to engage not in the work-play differential -- where you set aside time to play -- but where your life becomes infused minute by minute, hour by hour, with body, object, social, fantasy, transformational kinds of play. And I think you'll have a better and more empowered life..."

This quote from Stuart Brown reminds me of the change I personally went through and although it isn't exactly play, I believe it relates in some way. Before 6th Grade, I was very hard-headed. Everything I did, like hanging out with school friends or going out with family felt stiff. It wasn't until 6th Grade when I met this one person who was just so laid back, playful, and especially sarcastic. Maybe those qualities aren't the best for a school enviornment, but this person was always the happiest in class. Since we were tablemates, their qualities slowly grew on me and it changed me significantly. This person's sarcasm was the biggest factor to why I changed. When you're not use to the use of sarcasm, it becomes frustrating to comprehend and at times its confusing. But when you think about it, its sort of like a play with words, having to figure out what the other person really means and whenever you use it around a friend, its usually just for fun. Sarcasm isn't suppose to be taken seriously and the more I used it, the less hard-headed I became. As the year went by, I became more easygoing and using sarcasm became my favorite thing. This person taught me that I shouldn't always take everything so serious and that I should enjoy every moment and live with ease. Physical play wasn't infused in my life but I saw sarcasm as play and just like how Brown described play, it has truly improved my life.

Self to Text Connection: Ntaiya's TED Talk and My Inner Conflict

Ntaiya: "Well, my dream of becoming a teacher will not come to pass. So I talked -- I had to come up with a plan to figure these things out. I talked to my father. I did something that most girls have never done. I told my father, "I will only go through this ceremony if you let me go back to school." The reason why, if I ran away, my father will have a stigma, people will be calling him the father of that girl who didn't go through the ceremony. It was a shameful thing for him to carry the rest of his life..." 

This part of Ntaiya's decision-making stood out to me since a situation where the child is the one making the comprimise for their parent's standing just seems unimaginable in America today. Living in Ntaiya's setting, I would have probably done the same, however in other common settings, its always the parents making the sacrifces for the sake of their children. Both my mother and father, take away so much from their life just to make me feel rich in the inside. But for one to sacrfice a part of themselves for the happiness of their parents, to me is very empowering. My father asked me the long ago that when I get a job and I'm stable, that we should all move out and live in a huge house together. The idea of buying my own house for the sake of my father still conflicts me today. It might seem like a very selfish thing to not do so, but it does pain me to have the oppertunity of living by myself thrown away. I don't know if I could make a decision like Ntaiya's, but when time does come, I hope to overcome self-conflict like Ntaiya did.

Self to Text Connection: Gates' TED Talk and My Experience with My Community

Theaster Gates: "...And we always tried to suggest that not only is creating a beautiful vessel important, but the contents of what happens in those buildings is also very important. So we were not only thinking about the development, but we were thinking about the program, thinking about the kind of connections that could happen, between one house and another, between one neighbor and another."

I have been part of a community called INAMY (Indoensian North American Muslim Youth) for the entiery of my life. These are old photos (above) found on the istiqlalhouston.org website and it displays one of our community's biggest milestone. That milestone was finding our own ground to finally establish ourselves. We had bought a barn out and were planning to create a community out of it. Theaster Gates' TED Talk discusses about how not only is the display crucial for a building, but also what goes on in the inside. We had some people contributing with the design of the interiors and exteriors of the buildings but I was apart of the planning on the activities and upcoming events. Over time we improved the overall design of the area but the growth of our community wouldn't be as big as it is today without the family nights, the ramadhan gatherings, the volunteering collaborations, and the schooling on saturdays. Just like what Gates mentioned and what this community has taught me, is that connections aren't brought together by mere looks, but are built on actions and what we do.

(These photos below are some of the more recent)

A Little Introduction

Hello. Welcome to my entry blog. My name is Irshad W. I am a soon to be 11th grader and a future engineer (and music specialist.)

Discipline is key.
Discipline is key.
Discipline is key.

That's what my parents always tell me. My parents live on a schedule. Do this in the morning, do this at noon, do this at night. This is their idea of discipline. They've tried pushing those habits onto me but that life style just isn't for me. Life revolved around a to-do list feels too robotic and programmed. There's no room to move around and feel free. Who doesn't love to feel free? Who doesn't love to move around? Who doesn't like the sound of that?

Music. I love music. Hearing the cadence, playing the motions, appreciating its history and efforts. Playing music is something I'm passionate about. I joined choir, participated in orff ensemble (music education), and played the recorder during elementary. I then decided that playing the cello in orchestra was going to be my jig during middle school. By 10th grade at Kerr, I had switched over to band and joined percussion (which is a bunch of keyboard and drums). Throughout those years, I've experimented with other instruments outside of school. The guitar, the piano, the harmonica. When you're learning an instrument, the most difficult part to maintain is your head. Your mindset. Your mindset to keep at it. To keep going. To keep moving forward. To keep practicing and to never slack off. Although I am passionate about playing music, I , to this day, have still yet to learn how to play the guitar. Or the harmonica. Or the piano. The fingering on a guitar hurts my hands, memorizing piano chords seem overwhelming, and playing the correct keys on a harmonica feels impossible. But its not the instrument. It's me. My lack of discipline. I slack too much, I'm not consistent with my practice, and I have no structure in my learning methods. Discipline is more than just daily practice, scheduling, and to-do lists. It's self control. Because of my lack of discipline, I am unable to do the things I'm passionate about. I am unable to make the sounds that would make me feel free. I am unable to create the sounds that would make me move around. Who would like the sound of that?

Don't worry. Starting today, I will focus. I will learn, play, and master the arts. One step at a time. Playing the correct keys might feel impossible, but once you put your mind to it, it isn't. At least that's what my parents tell me.

Discipline is key.
Discipline is key.
Discipline is key.