Self to Text Connection: "My First Conk" and Self Standards

From "My First Conk": "This was my first really big step toward self-degradation: when I endured all of that pain, literally burning my flesh to have it look like a white man's hair. I had joined that multitude of Negro men and women in America who are brainwashed into believeing that the black people are "inferior"-and white people "superior"- that they will even violate and mutilate their God-created bodies to try to look "pretty" by white standards."

From The Autobiography of Malcolm X, "My First Conk", Malcolm tells his regretful experience of his first conk and the self-degradation behind it. Malcolm believes black men, conking their hair is shameless as he views it as "black men wanting to be white". I can relate to Malcolm's disgust against self-degradation as a person who is somewhat religious. Some boys at my mosque trashed praying rooms, disrespected house rules, and violated religious laws regularly. Being the ignorant man, I followed their every step and did their every move and soon enough, I'd finally earned their respect. I felt included, special, and happy to be accepted for once. Eventually, we were caught with the actions at hand and recieved talkings from imams, teachers, and parents alike. Looking back at it, all that risk, foolishness, and level of thinking is ridiculous. Although it isn't entirely self-degrading as it was with Malcolm, lowering my self-standards and being someone I am not entirely makes me feel the same as Malcolm. Disgusted and shameful of my own actions.